disappointment

Out of nowhere I had a lightbulb-above-the-head moment.

I do not want my precious child to feel disappointment - EVER.

I went to her classroom at the end of the day (thurs) to meet briefly with her teacher about a classroom project I am working on. When I saw Carly's face, I knew something was wrong. But honestly we have been struggling with a behavior I can best describe as being spoiled. So I talked with her teacher for a couple of minutes and when I looked back her eyes were watery (not the behavior we have been working to "nip-in-the-bud") there was definitely something more.

She was visibly trying to hold it together.

.....

The night before, Carly brought home a classroom assignment. She had to choose a person from a list to read a biography & write a report about and also to dress up like for what they call the Wax Museum. In fact she had to choose 3 and rate them 1,2, and 3. After much discussion, Carly chose Annie Oakley, Mary Lou Retton, and Dorthy Hamil.

.....

Right before I arrived the teacher had called Carly and a classmate to her desk and told them that they had both chosen Annie Oakley and gave them the opportunity for one of them to choose to let their classmate have their choice. Carly chose to let the other little girl have Annie Oakley. AND then she let another little girl have Mary Lou Retton (honestly I don't think she cared much about that one).

.....

About that time the kids were leaving the room and Carly made it to me. She buried her face in my side and I could tell she was crying. Her teacher told her she was proud of her for making a good decision. She said thank you and we made it to the car before she really lost it. I sat in the backseat with her and we talked about how disappointed she was. But that I was proud of her for making a hard decision and that many times making the right choice is hard. We also talked about that Dorothy Hamil was a great choice to read about and she was going to get to wear a cool costume. But it truly was not about Dorothy Hamil but more about having your heart set on something and losing it.

.....

We decided we needed something a little special as a "celebration" for making a good choice even when it was tough. I think that is something to reinforce. I foresee that this is nothing compared to other hard decisions she will have to face. Initially my mind jumped right to food because what says "good job" better than food. Wrong message! Since it was raining and cold that ruled out the park, tennis, bike riding, so this is where we ended up....

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Bowling